What kind of airplane are you?

Hey World,

Random musing from a random mind....do you ever wonder if you were an airplane...what kind of airplane would you be? 

I want to say that I am a super cool one like a F-18 super hornet or stealth bomber, but I have come to realize I am just not that cool. In thinking more about it I think maybe I am one of the classics, maybe a biplane or a cessna.

Sturdy, cute, and can carry people for a little while.

What about you?

Anybody out there?

Kelley 

Come back baby!

Wow blog world, after 6 years I may be making a comeback! So much has happened in these last 6 years. More than  I can write about on here. Sum up: still at Red Door, 1 niece, 2 nephews, and one on the way, moved back home, still working through some of the same issues, still working in preschool, although I have been through a few different places, mostly things are good. Same bat time, same bat channel. I started this blog to share my struggles, joys, losses, and triumphs. There have been all of those.

I look forward to writing again.

See you on the flip side 😎

Why?

Wow, it's been a loooooooong time!

Do you ever ask yourself why?

Why me?, Why not me?, Why am I struggling?, Why am I not satisfied?, Why? Why? Why? Why?

That is the question I am asking today. I recently had an epiphany, I have the most amazing, perfect husband and I am satisfied being His wife until He provides me with the man that He has for me. So, why, when I get super exciting news about a friend getting engaged, that I get sad, angry, and frustrated with where God has me. Not more than an hour ago was I completely satisfied being single and now I feel like I am starting in square one again.

God is the most important relationship I have so, why, is it the first one I turn my back on?

Does anyone understand?

That's all for now,  just questions and thoughts.

I will update soon.

Kelley

It's been awhile

Hey blog friends,

It has been a while since I have written anything. Lots has changed since my last post.

First thing is that I have finally got a job. I am working at Horizon preschool as an aide. I love my job. I have been there for almost three months and I really feel like this is where God wants me to be. It has been hard to find the balance between working out, work, and maintaining my presence in community. I think I am starting to get that under control.  I have truly enjoyed being able to work again and want to continue to serve God in the way that he wants me to.

The second big change is that my roommates had their baby in the beginning of September and she is a doll. It has been so much fun living with the Hancocks and now Lily. I have been able to see some of the trials of having a new baby and be witness to a lot of the joys. I have loved getting to see my roommates grow as parents and see how God is growing them in his time. I also love being able to help spoil another "niece". Some of my favorite time these past few months have been getting to hold Lily and having her fall asleep in my arms. It has been an adventure.

The third thing that is in the works is that I will be moving out of my current house into a house with a few girls from church. This is one of the biggest things I have ever had to do. It just goes along with my year that has been full of big changes. It scares me and I have a lot of concerns that have creep in over the last couple of weeks but I am praying through this and with the God I know that everything will be okay. I just have to continue to remember the He is in control and that frees me to not be concerned about it.

I probably have more to say but can't think of anything else to write at this moment so I will sign off and say that I will try to not wait so long between this post and the next.

God Bless!

Kelley

Random Thoughts

Hello Blog World,

I was having a random though this afternoon and thought I would share it with my adoring public. You know the saying "There's no "I" in team" well that may be true but there is no "we" either. What there is in the word is an "am" which has singular connotations....I'm so confused! I was cleaning the sinks out when this thought came to me. I was helping my roommate clean, so we were working in a team but then the though occur and now I am lost.

What are your thoughts on this dilemma?

We should come up with a different word for team...maybe...we-am...us-am...together-am.

I think I am just being silly.

That is all. More to come at a later date.

Kelley

Nothing to say

Hey friends,

So I have been not writing because I feel like I have had nothing to say. But I guess I will fill you all in on what has been going on lately.

Last time I wrote I was gonna compete in the San Diego Rock and Roll 1/2 Marathon. Well I did it! I never in my coming on 30 years thought that I would be able to finish something that big. Up until I hit mile 12 in the race I was still questioning weather or not I would be able to finish but with the help of my dad and my friend "Kim" I was able to walk most of the way and I stayed in front of the lagg'n wagon the whole time. We also finished in less time than we had projected. I know that the only reason I could complete that journey is because I had Christ doing the walking for me. There are pictures from periodic places in the race on my Facebook page and I will be putting pictures in a scrapbook so that I can always look back and remember that I completed something major. Anyway that was a long time ago now.

People keep asking me what is next, when I'm doing my next race. I have said that I will probably do this again next year but I have this dream of doing a triathlon sprint which is half the distances and if I do the team challenge than I would only do one leg of the race and still be able to compete in a triathlon. I don't know if that will really happen but it is a thought that is out there.

Another big thing is that I completed my last class and I am now a college graduate again, I have earned my Bachelors degree in Early Childhood Education. YEA!!!!! This has been a long and tiring journey but now as I look forward there is the uncertainty of "what now?" I don't know what God has in store for me and that is okay. I know that his plan is perfect and I will submit to what I am being called to do.

The next thing is that I have recently moved into a house with my friends that I have been living with. So last week was long and hard because of the holiday, then moving, then meeting our new neighbors, and then the joyousness of unpacking and figuring out what goes were and how to make it all fit. I am so thankful for my community and my housemates. We were completely packed and moved into the new house in two hours. There was a bunch of people who came out and helped us get our stuff out of the old apartment and into the new house.

The final thing I can think of to say is that I have finally almost gone under that big 300lb mark. I think I will jump for joy and maybe even cry when I see that "2" in front of the other numbers. This has been one of the hardest, most uncomfortable journey, yet I know it has been for my good and blessing but it is hard to remember that when your body is hurting so badly you can't find relief in anything that normally bring comfort. I know that God's plan is perfect and mine is no where I want to be.

Well I guess I had more to say than I though I did. I am starting to fall asleep while writing this which makes it hard to actually type. So I will say good night and leave you with a promise I will write again soonish.

Love,

Kelley

Long time no post

Hey friends,

So I took some time off from this because I felt that no one cared and what I had to say wasn't important, but through prayer, confession, and reconciliation.........I'm back!

In my last post on Easter morning I confessed that I was nervous and I was trying to make what God did for me all about me. I want to share what I said that morning to allow you all to see and hear what Christ is doing in my life.

3 years ago I came to Kaleo (now Red Door) searching for something but not knowing what. I have always known who Jesus was but never really had a real relationship with him. For along time I was comfortable with where I was in my walk and life, I always thought why would Jesus care about my piddly little problems when he has a whole world to worry about. So that is where I stayed for a long time. Then about a year and a half ago God finally broke through my stronghold of depression and I was instantly freed of that. Since then I have continued to seek Christ and seek to walk in full repentance. Starting in January of this year I finally listened to Christ's loudest call to get healthy. I asked for help and three days later I started on the bumpy road to repentance of my sin of control and gluttony. It has been an eye opening and heart changing journey. There are days I just want to quit and go back to my old ways but I know that I have a group of people who will always point me back to where my true identity lies and a God who will wait paitiently for me to get up and take his hand again so we can continue walking together. Over the past year and a half I have learned so much about who Christ is and who I am in him that I am now ready to stand up and proclaim that I have been made new through what he has done for me.

Since Easter I have continued to learn and grow. There have been some small steps backward but instead of giving up and running away, I run to my Lord and am reminded of his love and perfect plan.

Our gathering has been going through the book of Amos for the past few months. I have learned a lot about being a little "p" prophet and that God is completely for us even when we are turning our heads and thumbing our noses at him. Two weeks ago during the sermon Jake (that's my Pastor) was talking about where we find our security and comfort and how we continually don't look to Christ for those but are looking to the world to provide. One of the verses he use was Philippians 4: 4-13.

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say Rejoice. Let  your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of praise will be with you. I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived yoru concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I an to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret if facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

During this part of the discussion I started to cry and was unable to stop for a while. I realized that I had been sitting in so much fear that I was not allowing myself to be joyful in any situation. I was so concerned with keeping the fear hidden that I could not praise God and seek his Joy in my life. I have since been feeling more and more joyful in the things that God is leading me in.

This post is getting long so I will only say one more thing. It might turn into more so just be prepared. On Sunday, June 5th, I will be competeing in the San Diego Rock and Roll half marathon. WOW!!!! I have some nerves but I know that when I am ready to quit I can rely on my Savior to come along beside me and give me the gentle push I need. This is the biggest thing I have every done and I can't wait to tell you all about it on Monday.

So until next time;

The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6: 24-26.

Good Night!

Kelley