Hey friends,
So I took some time off from this because I felt that no one cared and what I had to say wasn't important, but through prayer, confession, and reconciliation.........I'm back!
In my last post on Easter morning I confessed that I was nervous and I was trying to make what God did for me all about me. I want to share what I said that morning to allow you all to see and hear what Christ is doing in my life.
3 years ago I came to Kaleo (now Red Door) searching for something but not knowing what. I have always known who Jesus was but never really had a real relationship with him. For along time I was comfortable with where I was in my walk and life, I always thought why would Jesus care about my piddly little problems when he has a whole world to worry about. So that is where I stayed for a long time. Then about a year and a half ago God finally broke through my stronghold of depression and I was instantly freed of that. Since then I have continued to seek Christ and seek to walk in full repentance. Starting in January of this year I finally listened to Christ's loudest call to get healthy. I asked for help and three days later I started on the bumpy road to repentance of my sin of control and gluttony. It has been an eye opening and heart changing journey. There are days I just want to quit and go back to my old ways but I know that I have a group of people who will always point me back to where my true identity lies and a God who will wait paitiently for me to get up and take his hand again so we can continue walking together. Over the past year and a half I have learned so much about who Christ is and who I am in him that I am now ready to stand up and proclaim that I have been made new through what he has done for me.
Since Easter I have continued to learn and grow. There have been some small steps backward but instead of giving up and running away, I run to my Lord and am reminded of his love and perfect plan.
Our gathering has been going through the book of Amos for the past few months. I have learned a lot about being a little "p" prophet and that God is completely for us even when we are turning our heads and thumbing our noses at him. Two weeks ago during the sermon Jake (that's my Pastor) was talking about where we find our security and comfort and how we continually don't look to Christ for those but are looking to the world to provide. One of the verses he use was Philippians 4: 4-13.
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I say Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of praise will be with you. I rejoice in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived yoru concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I an to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret if facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
During this part of the discussion I started to cry and was unable to stop for a while. I realized that I had been sitting in so much fear that I was not allowing myself to be joyful in any situation. I was so concerned with keeping the fear hidden that I could not praise God and seek his Joy in my life. I have since been feeling more and more joyful in the things that God is leading me in.
This post is getting long so I will only say one more thing. It might turn into more so just be prepared. On Sunday, June 5th, I will be competeing in the San Diego Rock and Roll half marathon. WOW!!!! I have some nerves but I know that when I am ready to quit I can rely on my Savior to come along beside me and give me the gentle push I need. This is the biggest thing I have every done and I can't wait to tell you all about it on Monday.
So until next time;
The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6: 24-26.
Good Night!
Kelley
